Self-confidence is a tricky thing. It can make you feel like you can conquer the world, or it can make you feel like you can't even get out of bed. It can boost your performance, or it can sabotage your success. It can make you attractive, or it can make you repulsive. It can be your best friend, or it can be your worst enemy.

But what is self-confidence, really? And how can you get more of it?

Self-confidence is not a fixed trait that you are born with or without. It is not something that you have or don't have. It is not a binary state that you can switch on or off. Self-confidence is a dynamic and complex phenomenon that depends on many factors, such as your mood, your situation, your goals, your expectations, your beliefs, your skills, your feedback, your environment, and your interactions with others.

Self-confidence is also not a one-size-fits-all concept. It is not a general feeling that applies to everything you do. It is more specific and contextual. You can be confident in one area of your life, but not in another. You can be confident in one situation, but not in another. You can be confident in one moment, but not in another.

Self-confidence is not a magic bullet that will solve all your problems. It is not a guarantee that you will succeed in everything you do. It is not a shield that will protect you from failure, rejection, or criticism. It is not a license to be arrogant, rude, or reckless.

Self-confidence is a tool that can help you achieve your goals, improve your well-being, and enjoy your life. It is a skill that you can learn, practice, and improve. It is a habit that you can cultivate, maintain, and reinforce. It is a choice that you can make, every day, in every situation.

So how can you make that choice? How can you build your self-confidence?

There are many ways to do that, and different methods may work better for different people. But here are some general tips that you can try:

• Acknowledge your strengths and achievements. You have many qualities and skills that make you unique and valuable. You have done many things that you can be proud of. Don't take them for granted or dismiss them as trivial. Recognize them and appreciate them. Write them down, say them out loud, or share them with someone. Celebrate your successes, big and small.
• Challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs. You may have some doubts and fears that hold you back and undermine your confidence. You may have some assumptions and expectations that are unrealistic and unreasonable. You may have some criticisms and judgments that are harsh and unfair. Don't let them control you or define you. Question them and challenge them. Replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts and beliefs. Use affirmations, evidence, or feedback to support your new perspective.
• Set realistic and attainable goals. You have many dreams and aspirations that you want to pursue and achieve. Don't let them overwhelm you or discourage you. Break them down into smaller and more manageable steps. Set specific and measurable objectives that you can work on and track. Make sure they are challenging enough to motivate you, but not too hard to frustrate you. Adjust them as needed, depending on your progress and circumstances.
• Take action and learn from your experiences. You can't build your confidence by just thinking about it or wishing for it. You have to do something about it. You have to face your fears and overcome your challenges. You have to try new things and explore new opportunities. You have to practice your skills and apply your knowledge. You have to act on your goals and make them happen. And you have to learn from your successes and failures, and use them to improve yourself and your confidence.
• Seek support and feedback from others. You are not alone in your journey of self-confidence. You have many people who care about you and want to help you. You have many people who can inspire you and teach you. You have many people who can encourage you and cheer you on. Don't be afraid to ask for their support and feedback. Listen to their advice and opinions, but don't let them dictate your decisions or actions. Be open to their praise and criticism, but don't let them determine your worth or confidence.

Self-confidence is not a destination, but a journey. It is not a fixed state, but a dynamic process. It is not a gift, but a choice. And it is a choice that you can make, every day, in every situation.

So choose to be confident. Choose to be yourself. Choose to be happy. 

Listen to podcast episode 35 - A Deep Dive into Self Confidence