It's natural to seek approval and validation from others, especially those we respect or care about. However, when seeking approval becomes a habit, it can hinder our ability to make decisions and live our lives authentically. Constantly seeking the approval of others can also impact our self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult to trust our own judgment.
Growing up, we're conditioned to constantly seek permission for everything we do. We're taught to follow directions, receive rewards for good behaviour, and risk punishment for anything else. Every action requires approval, and these experiences become deeply ingrained. When we succeed in school, we feel loved and validated, but when our grades slip, we feel rejected and inadequate. These learned behaviours stem from the fact that parents represent our sole source of survival in our formative years. As such, falling out of favour with them equates to being cast out from the pack.
This primal instinct for survival is deeply ingrained in us, but understanding its source can help us break free from its grip. By using our rational thinking skills, we can recognize when our fear of rejection is triggered and overcome it by reminding ourselves that we are safe and worthy, regardless of others' opinions.
Have you ever felt empty and "less than" after scrolling through social media? You're not alone. The constant opinions and judgments of others can make us forget what truly matters: recognizing our own worth and individuality. Instead, we conform to social norms and compare ourselves to the seemingly perfect lives presented online. This leaves us feeling insecure, seeking relief in the form of unhealthy habits or the approval of others. The truth is that all the validation in the world won't fill the void if we don't have our own backs. Self-love and acceptance are essential, and we can't rely on others to provide that for us.
But there's a solution. By being your own champion, embracing your unique qualities and recognizing the divinity within you, you can find the love and acceptance you need to be at peace with yourself. Instead of fearing what's outside of us, let's marvel at the beauty of our own creations and embrace our true selves. Make this a daily reflective practice and free yourself from the anxiety of seeking approval. You arrived complete and have everything within you to be whole. It's time to believe it and love yourself, no matter what.
Listen to podcast episode 9 – How to Overcome the tendency of Seeking Approval